APRiL 14 2004 WEDnesDAY 2004__________+
MoOd// feeling alright... =]
music playing : I'll be waiting _________+

recapp'n on yesterdaii
4 - 1 3 - 2 0 0 4
H A P P Y  A N N I V E R S A R Y !?!
made 9 months!!
i wanna love you like i never loved you tonight
If it's alright
I wanna tell you things I've never said in my life
I'm gonna hold you when the sun refuses to shine
I wanna show you that I'll always be by your side____+

umm.. okay i took my P E R M I T test it really pisted me OFF i miss'd 11 ha' o well.. now i know what to studeeh =] it was kinnah good for not even studying y0oh know.. =] i g0t a 73% har har good job for ME LoL....
afterwards went shopp'n for food... went to walmart en got a few stuff.. hehe i think i'm addicted to BEEFJERKieS haha' yummm...
anyways.. headed home en went swimm'n it was funn!! hehe good excercise need to lose sum weight ha' chuz ma fat aSs ishh too fat ha'..
afterwards got ready cuz babes en teh  jess was comin so we could head to ma sistars s0ftball game yepp.. when they came we bounce'd en went there her first game was cancell'd awhh.. we were bOred bebs play'd wif teh jess camera fone.. me en ma sistar casey got NACHOS yumm.. hehe.. en we sat on the grass en ate.. hehe..
after a while we decided to head home because the next game wasn't until 7:30pm deng.. ha' so we went home en i met my mom uncle & auntie from her dad's side ehn i met mah chuzzins/ uncle ha' i perfer cuzzin man he goes to my skoo en i always see him at skoo weird ha'? oO wells.. coO coO..
after they leff i went en cook'd porkychOps.. yumm.. we ate en den we leff to scoOp ma sister en ma brother.. we watch'd the last game en it was coO too.. ma sistars team won! hehe..
headed home.. tha's the end ov that night!
 APRiL 14 2004 Wednesday ________+
veery boring yepps.. watch'd passion talk'd to teh jess en did some research en ummm... made brownies wit peanut butter cups YUMM heehhe =]
well i'm gonna end dis k..!
4 days til ma b-day!!!
YAY!!
xoxo

__________+ posting on april 8th 2004 thursday

umms... had ma m0ments wit ma tehh jess =] conversated yepp..
en i went online toos talk'd to ma teh ella she gave me sum advices tahnx...
because i was pretty much out ov it.. my mind wasn't really in the thinking mood.. i don't know ever since tuesday night i've been feeling like my b0i-friend l0st feelings for me en i didn't know what to do.. =[
but tahnx to teh ella she gave me sum good adivces thats whah sistars are for right right =] [thank you again!!]...
babes picked me up to go to work.. uhh he f0rgot his shoes so he had to go bacc home after he dropp'd me to orleans.. i was still feeling the way i felt that he didn't wanna be with me anymore.. but i kept it to myself...
so i started work at 3pm.. yeapp... en babes came en work'd at 4pm ... around 8:15pm i got to go on break en i went wit babes cause he was on break too =] i was so happy... awhh in the break room he gave me a B I G hug awwhhh.. en thats wen i realize what i was feeling was just a fear ov losing him.. because i realized that he does wanna be with me.. i was jus scared that things would be different which they weren't.. =]
after work wen we were headin home i tol him in the car how i felt like he didn't wanna be with me en he sed i 'm crazy because he sed he LOVES ME SO MUCH =] hehehe...
ummm.. i g0tta go now kk take cares! x0x0

ø´¨`»°¤ ° ׺װ APRIL 7th 2004 wednesday
___________+P O S T ing ON tuesday......

well my day was going pretty good..
around 12pm babes pick'd me up along with his brother we headed to his house.. and it was coo =] me and babes spent time together and i LOVE the time we spend wit eachother.. it's the best feeling ever..
he made my invitations =] they turn'd out pretty good =] thanx babes!
he was gonnaa drop me off wehn his mom came from bingo he sed it'd be around 6pm but she didn't go.. so he sed he could take me home.. around 6:30pm his mom woke up and decided to go.. he couldn't take me home..
i kindda got mad at him because he sed he was gonna take me home after making the invitations.. then he tol me she was going bingo so i had to call my mom.. and my mom was yelling at me i go out everyday and i know i do.. i had to face her yell'n at me.. when i got off the phone i ended up crying..
and sed some hurtful things to babes...
i said he never does anything for me and what i meant was he never wana help me when it comes to my parents. so he didn't talk to me at all until he took me home..
he ignored me and wouldn't even look my way.. =[ it hurt so bad.. i knew it was my fault how stupid i was.. i hurt the one i love so muchhhh....
so i cryyy'd wen i went home..
took a shower cried til i couldn't cry anymore...
i txt'd him sed sorry en everything.. gave it a little time..
i tried to make myself feel a bit okays.. but couldn't take it off my mind...
den later that night we talk'd ehn i found out the reason y he acted that wayy because i hurt him and i made him cry.. I'm so sorry babes..
i din't mean to hurt you ...
i kept crying cause i couldn't help myself i hated myself for hurting him..
but he sed it was okay en it was a misunderstand'n...
well i'm gonna end it here.....